Depression - 6 steps - second half

Hi, thank you to everyone who got intouch with me regarding this post, I was so touched by some of your comments and stories.  My apologies for only posting half the blog this is the second half, thank you for letting me know – now I know who reads my blog and cares about what I write and who doesn’t!!!

So from were we left off…

To explain further there are times when behind closed doors you are just with yourself and nobody else and you feel this emptiness and darkness within yourself even if you appeared so bubbly and chatty just a few moments ago.  People often underestimate the power of thoughts, late at the midnight hour when you are just confronted by yourself and a myriad of negative thoughts/memories/visions…at this point it almost seems like there is no escape from yourself you start to become your own threat for your own survival.  At this stage the sweet escape of death is an attractive solution to those who are depressed.  This is a crucial and defining point as it ser

Having said this, there are times when moments of clarity can occur.  The ‘’hang on a minute, what happening to me??’’ type of thoughts.  If these thoughts occur grab them by the tail and do not let go! Fight your emotional mind with some logic and take yourself out of that dark sticky slump! Know, please KNOW that THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEPRESSION.

So here are some tips I learnt along my trip on my bumpy road which I proudly call the gift of life. 

Number 1: Get some SUN!! go outside and bask inside the sun.  We are natural organic creatures made from nature, the sun is a very very powerful source of vitamin D, our bodies are intune with the earth.  Get out in the sun let the sun touch your skin and absorb the vitamins, these vitamins will fill you and invigorate you.  Try to get to sleep before 10, as I mentioned earlier our bodies are intune with the natural earth so try to get to sleep before 10 as this will help your body’s chemical balance.

Number 2: we are natural organic creatures therefore we have to incorporate live enzymes into our daily diet.  NO I am not talking about dead animals, thank you, I am talking about pure, fresh uncooked and RAW vegetables.  Green leafy vegetables are very good as they convert the energy of the sun into our bodies, try to eat something whole live and fresh as this will bring nutrients to your body.  I read somewhere that if you eat something dead all the time you will soon be dead too! Try to eat as much raw and fresh food as possible. 

Number 3: Exercise, I can guarantee people who are suffering from depression are not getting sun, not eating live enzymes, they are not getting fresh clean water and are definitely not doing any physical exercise.  Exercise automatically releases endorphines, puts you in a better mood and lightens any dull thoughts from within.  If you are not in a position to do physical exercise then try to stretch your muscles.  Get your blood flowing, do some yoga, do whatever you have to do to get the blood flowing in your body. 

Number 4: talk talk talk, express your emotions, tell people you love and trust whats on your mind don’t bottle it up! Express yourself.  One of the things that helped me is painting and crafting!  Try to find a hobby and use your senses above and beyond normal everyday tasks.  

Thank you for taking the time to read this, more to follow soon! 

Depression – 6 ways to come out of it – Save your life or a loved ones life

It really frustrates me when people say that they feel ‘depressed’ so casually as if depression is just a feeling.  I would like to remove this stereotype by stating the truth.  The truth is, depression is a state of existence, its not merely about feeling ‘sad’ or ‘down’.  It’s much more than that, it’s an emptiness, a hollowness of dark morbidity.  Depression is a non-feeling.

Before I start – If you know of anyone who is thinking about committing suicide, has attempted it or is planning it make sure they speak to someone, it doesn’t have to be a professional therapist even if they spoke to you or a friend about it, it can help. Expressing through communication is one of the best things one can do to control a suicidal attempt and perhaps even prevent it.

When my grandad passed away for the first 3 months or so, I couldn’t see colours.  This may sound strange and almost unbelievable to some, but everywhere I looked I could see and feel a certain greyness attached to everything around me, be it the roads outside, my room, my own house, everything just looked very grey.  The brightest sun could be shining down and it would still make no difference to me.  The vibrancy of colours started to disappear, I got no enjoyment from the simple things in life.  I couldn’t concentrate on the simplest of tasks, my mind would wonder into my past or into a fantasy world.  At times I would feel like my depression was a dream and that any moment now I would wake up from it and everything would be fine again.  But it wasn’t a dream, the loss of my grandad was real, my pain was real, this wasn’t a dream this was my reality. My life was spinning out of control I became too attached to a fantasy and could not face my reality.  I was so scared that if I did face my reality I may not be able to survive.  The onset of this thought led me into a vicious circle and I become depressed.

I’m not saying I am all cheery and bubbly and happy go lucky like I used to be, not at all.  I am not the same person and i firmly believe that a part of me has died along with my grandad.  But there did come a turning point in my life where I had to decide between life and death.  When a person is depressed death seems like the most attrative solution to all the problems in life.  If you know someone at this stage, be aware because it’s a very dangerous and critical stage to be at and the chances of surviving can be very slim.  I learnt a few things during these tough times which I would like to share, so lets get started, remember following this could save someones life.

Just before I get started, I would also like to raise some more awareness.  Depression is not always externally detectable, a man or woman could be smiling all day and have the brightest face on from day to night – this doesn’t mean that what you see is true.  Depression 84% of the time I externally undetectable. In order for it to be diagnosed layers and layers of surface reality need to be peeled back to even start lightly probing the deeper issues.

So as I was saying: Inherent in every human being is the will to survive-some call it a survival instinct.  However there are times or episodes when that ‘light’ of self preservation can become dim and often burn out.  For instance, one may no longer care for themselves.  They may no longer care what they eat, how much weight they put on, their appearance, they do not care for or ackowledge rewards / punishment and are basically stagnant and find their comfort in a motionless existence.  I hope this makes sense! Basically I’m just saying they stop caring for themselves in order to speed up their ultimate wish of death.

Having said this, there are moments when moments of clarity can occur.  The ‘’hang on a minute, what happening to me??’’ type of thoughts. If these th 

A Review of twilight the book, by Stephanie Meyer

My friend absolutely begged me to read twilight, I wholeheartedly refused for a number of months claiming that if the book is too popular it doesn’t present enough originality in it or it’s heavily stigmatised in some way.  I finally gave in and decided to read the entire series, cover to cover.  Well without sounding pompous, I was right.  Twilight to me is very simply a collection of extracts of sexual tension between a man and woman that has been translated into black inked words, stretched across thousands of white pages.  Almost a lousy attempt at understanding tantric sexual techniques through word reading.  Needless to say, this is not good for the trees in our environment.  Anyhow, Twilight shirts, twilight jewellery, twilight BABY NAMES, an entire twilight world has emerged.  The aspect that is most concerning me is that of our younger generation.  The twilight series presents a very heavily deterministic symbolic image to our youth and that is of extreme sexual engagement between a male and female, while there is nothing wrong with this in theory, the problem with twilight is that it is excessively illustrated without sound rationale.  This book has a lack of moral lessons, interesting life lessons and real world relevance, which you would expect from a love story.  Bella is constantly crying, Edward is constantly silent and gawking, mentioning a few random heavy words here and there, they look in to each others eyes very frequently and oh yes I forgot theres also some wolves.  I mean honestly, there is nothing of substance in this book that I can derive from.  For one thing it has been dubbed a love story, while I have my girly days and love to tuck in to a nice romantic novel now and again this book illustrates no passion, or the real meaning of what love is!  Quite frankly, I became tired of edwards eyes, I hate the word ‘Cullen’ now, and bella is the name of my next door neighbour and that’s as far as this book goes for me.  I might write a better review of this book when im less frustrated.  Rajiv, you requested it so here it is, this ones for you, I’ll try and write a better one later.

Endless Love

As I sit on my chair, my desk infront of me, my assignment due in 4 hours I look out at the dark starry night and put on pixie lotts endless love song, and I can’t help but feel all the memories of my childhood rushing back like a stream of fast water..as I gaze at the starry night even deeper I remember my grandad, his smile, his energy and his sparkly eyes… I remember running out of my school gates and rushing upto him hugging him and holding his hand, like the comfort and warmth of sitting infront of a warm fire in the cold winter…I feel a wave of intense emotion as if my soul can no longer resist the temptation of coming out of my body. I breathe deeply in order to control myself and a flush of tears and a loud cry eminates from my body..i do not recognise it yet I feel it…I do not see it yet I hear it… I want you to know that everytime the sun shines I miss you, everytime a bird flies by I think of you, everytime it rains I wish we were together, everytime a rainbow appears my heart just melts away from this world…rest in peace, you will forever be missed, you will forever be loved, I will always carry you in my heart you were a blessing which I always took for granted, and I promise wherever you are, I will make sure I keep a smile on your beloved family faces at all times, I’ll never let them feel hurt or pain, I’ll look after baa and make sure she’s always happy…death of a loved one is the most difficult thing to overcome and you can never prepare for it…Sometimes I wish that you never loved me so much, at least then I could have lived life with a bit of ease.

The Best Feeling...

When your five years old and your dad surprises you with a visit to your school

When your in your 20’s and your dad still reads you bedtime stories

When your mum makes your favourite food

When you look into your sisters eyes and see god

When you get 100% in an exam you haven’t even studied for

When you walk the tiny village streets of india and the cows are walking with you

When you line your eyes with khol

When your in so much stress and tension and your dad decides to tickle you

When you try to escape from your sister chasing you around the house and then slip on the stairs laughing and giggling and almost crying

when your watching a movie that perfectly illustrates whats going on in your own life

when you listen to your favourite music

when you look up at the sky

I Vow...

I vow to love my child unconditionally

I vow to love my child eternally

I vow to never turn them away

I vow to listen to them

I vow to always support them

I vow to be by their side

I vow to make them happy

I vow to make them have a wonderful life

I vow to be there for them

I vow to advise them

I vow to be kind to them

I vow to never turn my back on them

I vow to never ignore them

I vow to make sure they only receive the best or the best

I vow to never neglect them

I vow to never make the feel like they are all alone in this world

I vow to educate them

I vow to help them walk

I vow to help them stand on their own two feet

I vow that I will prepare them for life

I vow to nurture them

I vow to care

I vow to ask them everyday ‘’how are you?’’

I vow to ask them everyday ‘’how was your day?’’

I vow to take full interest in their lives

I vow to teach them in the most positive way possible

I vow to discipline

I vow to never use violence on them

I vow to never shout at them

I vow to treat them with respect

I vow to one day let go of them

I vow to love my child unconditionally

I vow to love my child eternally

Let's Make A Rainbow...

Once upon a time, there lived a female. She was very odd, because everyone was either black or white, but the problem with her was she was multi coloured. Different colours ran down her body, you name the colour and she would have it on her. Red, yellow, pink, blue, green, orange and purple and blue. She had been teased all her life because of how she was, her family would tell her that people were just jealous, but no, she never believed them, she thought she was a misfit, a cursed being, with no purpose in life.

She went through her phases of being happy and sad, everytime she had an emotion her colours would change, when she was happy she was neon bright and sparkling and when she was sad she was dark and mysterious. So one day she was walking on the road and she started singing to herself, and as you can imagine her colours started to change, oranges and yellows were appearing in flower like forms across her arms, and bright pink hearts were flushing her cheeks. And for once, out of the blue… in her entire life…something caught her eye….

What was that??? She went closer to it, what was that she thought, she squinted her eyes and pouted her lips in utter confusion, it was a plant of some sort, tall and grey…she had never in her whole life seen anything GREY before, infact grey was the one colour she did not possess…she was instantly warmed to its unique character and got closer to it. The plant started to flinch, the girl jumped slightly and moved backwards, the plant flinched more and more and more and started to form something…something familiar…

She saw things she recognised. And this plant started to develop into a grown human being…she was gripped…she was fascinated and intrigued. What was this thing… she went closer to it,…she was kind of short so she had to tip toe slightly to see into this humans eyes. They were big eyes, big and dusky and they smiled at her. The girls body immediately warmed to colours like peach and auburn, she loved how she felt…. She also noticed that the person she was looking at was a male…and his colour stayed a constant, strong and permanent grey. His eyes were focussed on hers… It was alluring…they were both instantly attracted to each other.

He took her round her waist all of a sudden…and held her tight and wooooossshhh woooossshhhh wooooossssshhhh she was flyingggg flying up towards the clouds at warp speed, she was confused and excited, the colours of her body flashed brightly amongst the clouds and skies…

All of a sudden miss colourful and Mr grey stopped…mr grey asked ‘’so where shall I take you today..? miss colourful lifted her head to the side and squinted her eyes thinking…a few seconds passed and mr grey kept looking at her…her senses were telling her that he wanted to hold her again… so she decided to fly away…really fast , trying to shake off this weird colour combination surrounding her body, what on earth is this feeling she thought, she’s never felt so attracted to anyone in her whole life in this way, she was frustrated and utterly, utterly confused, she was embarrased of the colours covering her body at the time…deep fiery reds and oranges…it was at times like these she wished she could conceal her emotions.

She stopped…her cheeks flushed with the brightest pink..she was panting very hard and she turned around expecting Mr grey to be there…but to her disappointment he wasn’t…her body changed to a deep blue and purple colour…her eyes closed, her lips pouting she looked down in complete dismay…

It felt like hours had flown by, but it was only a few seconds…she heared some shuffling ahead of her and she looked up…and there he was!! Mr Grey, he flew towards her as fast as lightening and held miss colourful very tight…miss colourful tried to resist with no success…she thought to herself that how dare Mr Grey think he can just grip me whenever he wants?!?! She got angry and started to poke Mr Grey thinking to herself that this Mr Grey was too proud of himself and was such a loser she could do much better. Mr Greys eyes drooped and he was saddened…miss colourful was finally satisfied and was pretty proud of her own achievement, 1 to me and 0 to him she thought. Ha ha ha, laughing to herself she couldn’t help but smile at him. His big hands suddenly covered her eyes, and she tried to bite his hands off, this was UNACCEPTABLE she thought, utterly UNACCEPTABLE, HOW DARE HE! She was frustrated, angered, but her body reacted differently…her body turned to that passionate fiery red colour…involuntary actions possesed her…her arms curved around his shoulders, and his arms curved around her waist…she opened her eyes to find she was only an inch away from this stupid man. She hated him, she hated him with a passion , but there was something about him…she tried to conceal her colours on her body..but it didn’t work, mr grey let out a hearty laugh and she got angered again explaining that she was NOT well that’s why she turned red, it wasn’t because he was attractive or anything, honest, honest it really wasn’t.

Seconds flew by like centuries…both miss colourful and mr grey stood looking at each other, mr grey with his big stupid smile (miss colourful couldn’t help wondering why she was so attracted to such an insensistive, self obsessed, egoistic man..so she thought…but actually at the time she didn’t know mr grey very well) and miss colourful with her angry eyes and fists clenched… miss colourful was DETERMINED not to give in, Mr Grey had no idea how clever she was…so she thought J Mixed with confusion, passion, and attraction, miss colourful could feel mr greys burning desire, he wanted to talk to her, find out all about her, what she liked, what she loved what she hated, he wanted to steal her heart away and keep it for eternity. He was stunned by her beauty and wanted her like crazy…miss colourful could sense mr greys feelings and didn’t understand why a misfit like her was loved so dearly, so she doubted him and thought to herself that this was just another crazy game life was about to play on her…and she better not fall for it, otherwise…bad things could happen.

CONSUMED with a plethora of crazy thoughts, miss colourful felt strong big hands around her waist, she felt warm breath closer to her face…her lips were dewy, and pouty as if wanting something…mr grey drew in…’’wh..’’ and miss colourful was stumped she couldn’t even finish her THOUGHT off, how can anyone have the power of turning off her thoughts?? And mr greys lips touched miss colourfuls lips, and they were both enticed. .. Bright golden sparks flew from both their bodies, igniting the skies with full on passion. Thunder screamed itself loudly and rain started to fall heavily, both mr grey and miss colourful were drenched and absolutely soaking wet. miss colourful’s skin was warming mr greys, all of a sudden mr greys body turned brown…then yellow…then green…splodges and different colours appeared on his body…he looked exactly like miss colourful…meanwhile miss colourfuls eyes turned a strong grey colour…so did her hands and various parts of the body and what was this? New kinds of colours appeared on their bodies, colours that were rare like golds, and silvers and coppers…it was as if…mr grey had given her some of himself…and miss grey had given some of herself to him. They were both happy, so happy that they couldn’t tell the difference between who was who…miss colourful thought she was staring at herself and mr grey thought he was staring at himself…what sort of insanity was this?? Lets try to rationalize now, he’s a man and im a woman…that was for sure..but…still…we saw ourselves in each other…miss colourful and mr grey could not separate themselves from each other.

All of a sudden the sky was becoming smaller, mr grey held her hand again and they flew down, in a sort of half moon direction…faster and faster…they were crossing one end of the world to the other…and finally landed together on soft soil. Trying to figure out what happened…the sun smiled at them… and they both looked up, they could see the path their journey and time had created…and guess what……….it was a rainbow.